Today was our last session with Becca who had been covering for Nicola. We worked with the same principle we started off with when Becca first came, of 'yes and no' and what that can produce as a solo and with a group of people.
We did tasks similar to the past few weeks, where we have the choice to say yes to a movement, or no. Say yes to the floor, or say no. Say yes to anothers manipulation or touch, or no.
Another task we participated in was for one person to stay in the middle of the circle that the other people would form around them. The middle person would then let go and fall and the others around them would catch and gently push up back to the centre. I was very hesitant to have a go, and I knew Becca sensed this. However, I gave it a go and was proud of myself for doing so. At the end of that task I shared with the group why I was hesitant: As someone who has panic attacks on a daily basis, an effect of an attack can be the fear of losing control of your own body. I have found it hard in lessons such as this and contact improvisation to let go and relinquish weight etc, and I know I hold a lot of tension in my body, including my jaw. I am gradually overcoming this, and participating in that task with Becca today has been a step forward. Becca said my fear is justified and understandable, and that I should be happy with what I had done. The other contact task which followed: of relinqushing and giving up our limbs to other people, then saying 'no' and applying a force which sent our bodies to the ceiling at a great height, felt really good to perform. I wasnt nervous about this task as it was similar to stuff I have done before, and I think the previous one was very new and different which didnt help my anixety. I loved the feeling of being lifted, and felt effortless to be in the hands of other people. Similarly, it was surprisingly easy to lift other people also and too felt effortless, which I found very interesting.
At the end of the session we had a 'jam' and was able to return to anything we had participated in over the past few weeks with Becca. It was amazing how much we have actually covered, and all of the new movement ideas I have been introduced to, e.g.: conversation through movement, travelling with keeping the hands/feet on the floor, going 'over and under' with a partner, the idea of 'yes and no' etc.
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